Har kisiko mukkamal jahan nahi milta kisi ko zameen milti hai ; to kisi ko aasmaa nahi milta

"When it comes to practicality, things don't work this way.
I can either follow my dreams or make money, the other part of my life anyway sucks "


I have unwillingly been carried away.
Where everything is and must
be defined, refined, and redefined.

Where living your dreams is stupidity.
Where reality in unreal.
Where truth is just a 'never-heard-about' concept.
Where right & wrong is always debated in the mind.
Where I just feel I'm STUPID.


Despite my efforts to avoid assimilation,

I, too, scream mindlessly at eternal traffic.

I, regrettably, am in a fruitless rush

when there are hours or days to spare.
I think of the clear other side,

open-ended and unexpected like cancer.



I want to find my way.




The internal struggle is still on, with people around and inside, I want you to live your dreams, I want you to forget practicality , forget every reason that holds you back and live the way you always wanted to.I don't know if I am Learning the concept of selflessness or trying hard not be a bitch in the bargain? All I know is, It's not easy to be you, and its not easy to be me either.

Nerves of steel
Wills of iron
and a

Chocolate pudding heart, which does all the damage!


youn to koi tanha nahi hota,
chaah kar bhi koi juda nahi hota,
mohabbat ko to majbooriyan hi le doobti hai,
warna khushi se koi bewafa nahi hota!!

Green Eyes

So you have all said a word or two about it, how it should be , how it shouldn't . The conventional and unconventional, the real and fake, the practical and impractical.
I say you are all losers, YES! Fucking nuthead morons of the highest order.

You think you are being protective, warning me against it, am I going in a deep ocean without knowing how to swim? How the fuck do you know I am gonna drown for sure?
Protective eh?
I say ; be brave , have the courage!

You think I am a kid, I don't know how this dirty mean world works, I live in a parallel world, do I? Hell yes there is a parallel world, far much dangerous, far much adventurous, far much unexpected than you can think of! If here you think I can't survive, there I am living, with courage and compassion, outreaching any one who claims to be real.

I am just being myself, is that a problem for u motherfuckers?
I believe I am better than most of you all, is that again a problem?
I know I will prove my worth to myself.
I know this very feeling of being someone better makes me feel shallow inside, I have been taught to be humble, "down to earth", but I'm not.
I have nothing to lose to you all you cowards, I will lose myself only to him; in every sense of the word.
Does this burn your heart? You feel better when you point out my flaws,gives you a feeling that your life's better, doesn't it?
And when you say it to others, it makes you better in comparison to me! I know you all , you dickheads, I know the psyche of human beings, I know it all.
Yow will again tell me ," no you don't , you'r just a 19 year old kid "
I say, yes I am 19. Yes I am a kid, and this kid will make life hell you mess with me, you know that already don't you?

Its capricious. I know.
He is the man all that I want. I love him dangerously.
And I know you all , can just stand there and envy me.


Honey, you are a rock upon which I stand!

If you can dream it, you can do it!

Politics needn't be a swear word. Politicians can be good for you. They can be business managers running the state like its a company where change is a number that has to be achieved. A politician can know how to use a computer and turn a backwater into a technology hub. He can be a fanatic but about the common man's prosperity. He can look good, and even hotter than Tom Cruise ;)
Stay in power by the surrender of power.
Represent, not rule.
Politics and governance can be transparent. You will have the right to be able to hold a politician responsible for his actions.

And then, politicians will stop asking for your support. They will support you.
Starting now politics will not come in your way , it will be the way.




Its just about some time, the change will come in soon. Even here :D

The Sin Wagon

Every now and then I hear it coming down the street; I recognize the music which blares from its speakers. A sound all to familiar. Is it that time again? I close my windows and lock my doors as not to be tempted to run outside and take a peek, the temptation is too much to resist. I'm not talking about an ice cream truck; the "sin wagon" is back in town today, collecting the lost souls who want to take a ride, a little escapade and a departure from reality for just a few days, months, years. You decide when you want to come back, this trip is free, and the destination is to the VIP section in the coolest parts of hell.

What do you have to lose? Life smells like stinky dog poop right now, you need an escape and we guarantee that you will have the time of your life. Wait until you see the coming attractions, you wont be sorry you hopped onboard. Lets take a quick detour to "over indulgence," that's always fun!
What's your poison? Tequila? Drugs? Sugar? Sex? It's okay; go ahead...we are on a binge here. Next stop is "reckless intent." Let's get crazy! So what if it isn't right, who cares? We are on vacation from "good"; we have a hall pass to do reckless things on the "sin wagon." Right on, I see "undisciplined" ahead of us. How fun it is to ignore our responsibilities! This feels so good to do! I think I shall spend some more time here, party on I'll catch up with you later.

I don't know how long I've been on this ride now, but I'm getting weary. I miss those who are waiting at home for me. As I look to those who I share this wagon, there is nothing loving or good that I feel. I miss home, its time I get off this ride and say goodbye to those who wish to not remember...life.

I hear the sounds of this wagon again, passing through my neighborhood. The music is tempting and I find that I want to take a peek. Yet I remember the last ride, and however sweet the sound, the trip isn't worth it. Maybe, I should seek to visit heaven next, hell is overrated. Trust me, I know. Some rides aren't worth the journey taken.

Holding On

Dreams
Reality
Hurdles
Voices
People
Inspiration
Appreciation
Rejection


and then,... Chhotepan ka ehsaas.

So there are times, when I just feel like giving up everything, things I've stood for, things I believe in, things I want to be. Feel like ridiculing almost about everything positive and everything which has been an opium to life at some point or the other.
People ; their thoughts and words which have affected me in any way and made me who I am.
Lessons I have learn't ;
Notions I have about the way I learnt those lessons.
Notions about the way people behave/think/react/exist.


More importantly, the dreams I have seen for myself ; because of the million hurdles, because of the will going down, the strength diminishing, the nervous system crash if I may call it.

And then, I weigh it with that one thing I am living for

Ek Pehchaan.

It's worth holding on.
One more time. And many more to come.

Strength
Compassion
Clarity


and, the much wanted desire and want to fulfill every dream..
...will make me fall a million times, make me vulnerable, break my heart;
But I see no better way to live.

Escaping Pain

The downside of the world is that everybody is telling us what to do.
"This is what’s wrong with the world and this is how to fix it. Just relax, we’re handing you your world on a silver platter and if you destroy it, don’t blame us."

The downside of being a scientist is that you spend your life trying to save the world from the inevitable. The tragedy of being an artist is that you spend your life trying to escape the inevitable.
"Recycle your lightbulbs because otherwise you’re drenching your home with mercury and begging for mutation. Quit smoking because it can cause blockage in your lungs (see also: cancer). Stop buying things made in China because they’re going to pass us in economic efficiency."

Who said that you had to conform to earn your place in the world? We are society. We made these rules and we can change them.

"Being an individual is the second bravest and/or most ignorant thing you can do, the first being having faith in anything."

Where would your fashion magazines and soap-opera stars be if we functioned solely on mitosis?
"Look the same, act the same, perfect people. We’re headed there."

Is it sad when a large portion of the girls in our country are masters of addition and subtraction because of calorie counting?

Fed on strict diets of image with daily doses of inferiority complexes, our youth is convinced that this is what we should be. We need to be a mirage or nobody will love us.

This is a plastic world of Photoshopped false idols and pain relievers. The world has a blurry edge to it. We focus so hard on relieving every prick of pain that we don’t see how we’re stifling growth. Pain has sparked almost all great things (songs, books, movements, speeches, paintings, ideas). People want to change the world because they see pain and suffering. Our sheltered, pill-popping children see none of this. And if they do catch a glimpse, they feel so disconnected that it doesn’t hit home. Apples for breakfast and neurotoxins for lunch. To live a real life, a meaningful life, don’t you need to experience pain? Emotional and physical pain teach us lessons and give us a powerful tool with which to take on the world.

We dont want to take risks, and attainable risks have been shut down long ago, leaving our experience-deprived teenagers stuck with a list of adrenaline rushes ranging from slightly potent to six feet under. If it’s fun, it’s either illegal, dangerous or a little of both. Give it a few years and that flu virus you’r safeguarded against has mutated to the point where it’s a completely new flu, and the bacteria that would have killed it has been wiped out, thanks to the anti-bacterial soap in every dispenser in every public bathroom.


I want to live before living is too lethal to attempt. I want to try things and enjoy things and feel things even if there is a one in 700 chance that I might develop brain cancer.I dont want to be afraid of suffering and pain that I medicate and medicate and medicate the pain away.
I want to suffer to create something truly beautiful.

Factors Controlling Life

When we think about life as a whole, it can be named in probably 'n' number of ways,
some call it a book, a story, struggle, a bed of roses (yup don't be shocked there are many many many people still sleeping )

But to think of it, it all comes down to a series of events.

These events test our patience, skills, thought process. Gives us lessons in the end and sometimes take away our false notions.

We call life unfair a lot of times - blame people , luck and more often than not even destiny. Sometimes everything is done to achieve a certain thing or reach a certain point and bam! everything crumbles down, nobody can answer why.

But come to think of it there are just three factors which rule life.

Yes, just three!

Whatever I wrote above could be fucking shit and no part of it might make sense , but those three factors always will.

Desires (Including emotional attachment), Health and Natural Disasters.

Whatever happens in life is because of the above three things, whatever we do are driven by desires, whatever comes in between that can be either another desire or a person (attachment) a certain accident (Natural Disaster) or if we aren't physically capable of doing it.

If these three factors are in complete control one can even predict their own future.

For instance, I know that tomorrow at 2 p.m I have to go for lunch with a friend, I predicted my own future, only these three factors can control me. Perhaps, I cannot predict about maybe what I'd be doing exactly one month from now because I don't know what circumstances I'd be in, only of course if I'm in complete control of my 'factors'.

To talk about them seperately; Desires are something which aren't certainly bad. Everything one wants in life, every position one wants to reach, be it an exam, a job, a car, a certain person; is because of desires. The reason to live probably is to make the correct choices and fulfill those desires. Now the way by which one is achieving it , the amount of importance which is being given, THAT can certainly be very very very bad at times.
Controlling desires isn't a very easy task though, but isn't something as difficult as rocket science :)
This is infact the most important and the most difficult thing to control.The reason for everything right and everything wrong we do is because of them. The reason why it's difficult to get over a certain mishap in life and further fuck everything else is also because of them.

The second thing is health, how much we live and how we live is always in ones own hand. Being fit, take care of what one does so that some major medical ailment doesn't hit which restrains from leading a normal life; isn't something all of us think about much. Till of course it hits us.

Whatever we want to do in life somewhere is tested by our capabilities,  from something as seemingly easy as staying up all night to complete a certain project, or working really hard at work to finish a deadline, to fucking  adventure sports and a hell lot more depend on the physical fitness.
Even a simple day out with friends can become tiresome for an unhealthy person.

The third factor, natural calamities. These are things which we just do not have any control on. But the number of people it has control on is less, a person has a 2/100 probability of dying because of an earthquake/volcano/tsunami. If its about road accidents and falling off from a cliff, it again is because of lack of presence of mind and can be controlled.

Yeah, It's extremely difficult to have an extremely undoubted hold on them. But instead of depending on things which are do not even play much role and are given undue attention, its better to focus on the right issues. More often than not we spend time and energy correcting the wrong issues altogether.



[P.S- I really want to know the validity of this theory, any argument which would prove it wrong is welcome.]