Monday, July 25, 2011

Not home yet!

As I see people around me making phone calls which mostly say
" Yes I am leaving in 5..see you"
I know its those people who have someone wait for them once they are out of this three floored corporate dunk. Yes I call it that because it is that at most levels.
These twenty something goodlooking intelligent people, somehow have chosen a difficult path for themselves, the initial years right after 5 or 6 years of law school - should have been their time to enjoy the bundles of money they earn , I say bundles because of the place I am at currently.
And all they have is the green, barely time to spend it , barely people to share it with.
Best part is that they don't complain or maybe this is the worst.

Cut to my situation, I am a mere intern with some "more than average sense of intellect " (which is the best complement my boss could give me and has made my day) on occasions and mostly a chimpanzee who has learnt how to type (yes, I get that often thanks to my lack of patience to format.
So my work is to do the menial research work at most times, sometimes its research which has been created to just give it off so I stop nagging that I dont have any work, however - the last week I have been working on something important. At most certainty the piece of work will be enacted as a law soon.
Downside - its credit less hardwork. And something I can't complain or ask for , infact just feel happy that I was given such work!

The next half hour will be wasted in ordering dinner. The next forty in having it.
But then that is how they maximize their work.

The same guy just called up again and said .." Honey 5 more minutes"
She is waiting for you dumbass, either cancel the plan or be honest with the time you're going to take!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Right from wrong!

“This is wrong.”

I thought I had purged my mind of my mother’s voice, yet her strident tones still echoed through my brain, muffled but not silenced. .

Brush your teeth, clean your room, go to bed, and other orders ingrained in my head during my childhood had ceased to resound through my skull, yet one phrase remained, preserved.

“This is wrong.”

Wrong means bad. Wrong means red X’s scattered across your test like confetti. Wrong means the hellfires of damnation, which I stopped believing in (along with God and heaven), but which still have the power to frighten me, like the chainsaw-wielding villain I saw on TV when I was six, who I knew wasn’t real, but was really cackling manically before me every time I shut my eyes.

“This is wrong.”

Off late, a whole new set of rights and wrongs are coming my way.
This time the choice isn't simple enough.
The concept of right and wrong was taught to us as kids, and was supposed to be kept in the mind before taking all decisions in life. A very simple thing, but i never knew while growing up i will forget the importance of asking myself if something do is the right thing to do or I'm doing it just because i want to do it.

A gradual change, imperceptible to the unperceptive, a change in lilt, in tone, in meaning.

A silenced tongue is wrong, not the feelings it might expound if freed.

A bound body is wrong, not the movements it may make unshackled.

Cloaking an atheist in the robes of a sister is wrong.

Hurting someone who loves you is wrong.

Giving up your self respect for anyone or anything, no matter how precious or "loved", is ..uhmm, well.. wrong!

The words have not changed; my conscience is preserved, the influence destroyed.

This is right.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

rinse. repeat

This won't go easy, nothing ever did.
It's weird when I sit here and see the rain, the drops on the window, the surrealism, the poetic streak rain carries with itself, et al...and thinking how much it is a relief from the heat.
It has no effect on me.

People are always apprehensive of what will happen in their future, I on the other hand know my life cycle works in accordance with seasons, I wish I didn't know myself and the cycle so well.

This summer, is truly no different than any other.
I just fear what's yet to come.

"Tu ja bhi chuka phir bhi maen tanha nahin ab tak..
suraj ke doobtay hi andhera nahin hota..."