Sunday, September 28, 2008

The Epiphany

There comes a time in every individual's life when the world just... stops. Time ceases, and only the beat of a heart can pulse within the ears. It always happens when there is a choice involved. A choice when one is waiting to decide which road will apply not only to the individual, but to the world.

One choice... small, mundane. The heart races, the palms sweat... time begins to pound, and the nervous anxiety of a soul crying out begins to be understood. For one moment in time, that individual gets it.

Heresy. Blasphemy. We all carry that spark, that infinite wisdom. We love, we laugh, we cry and weep. We create.

Each kind intention, a stack of good. Each wrong and evil presence another blot of darkness upon the canvas.

We are paint. We are spirit.

And then the moment comes/... and we choose.

Do we bring this knowledge to our populations... or do we hide it among dusty books and heretical lists? Who are we? Which choice is right?

Nothing. Nothing is what is right. All is perspective, relativism and illusion. Everything is based upon perception, and there is no possibility of making everyone happy. The pursuit of happiness is by necessity self-centered. The moral person pursues happiness while attempting to not harm others. THAT is the difference between good and evil.

THAT is who we are.

I lost these words the moment they fell out of my mouth, It's called an illusion and we are *IN* it.
Those million little pieces, they just fit at different places and can never be 'fixed'

It does make sense u retard.! I wanna grump and rant and rant and grump! People, places, stories, realizations, mistakes, feeling, thoughts, events.
Sleep is the best escape.

we are just a part of an illusion, that rabbit and hat magic the magicians do, thats what happens with us; except that the poor rabbit doesn't know he is a part of a trick unlike us. Yet we keep contradicting ourselves on the arguement that we see it, feel it , here it just as it is.
And then a certain part says that its just voices and faces.
Tricked, duped, deny , accept.

Fuck it. They are all wrong.

supposed to?
This is the word which creates all the shit. What is suppose to be will never be, its the molding and the fixings and the forceful fittings which make them the way they become.
Knowing about the the do's and the don'ts make it freaky and makes people like us retards.
Intoxication, sleep and tears. An elevated high; are true.
rest everything's a fuckin illusion.

P.S - People are bitter and people are total assholes. It's why sometimes I'm a bit of a hermit. Truthfully speaking though , it's just the outcome of a world which has never treated its occupants with any reasonable sort of care. This is called cause and effect. :|

S.S I owe you a part of it, facebook postings aren't always random time killing tools. ;)

Saturday, September 13, 2008


Just another lazy Saturday evening, was waiting to meet Shruti after a month, she walked in at 6:30, apart from the " So finally how’s college?" update she was waiting to know from me, the most important thing was our excitement to be a part of this show on NDTV tomorrow which was supposed to be a chat show with Abhishek Bachan, :)

My sister walked in the room ; " Sorry but bad news for both of you ; Delhi's on high alert cause of serial blasts and even in GK I, so stop dreaming about Abhishek Bachan now " ( The NDTV office happens to be in GK I)

Our first reaction was obviously a little sad and then a usual five minute discussion on how disgusting it is to terrorize people at the cost of human lives but we went back to what we were talking and that tomorrow's plans will now have to be cancelled, cause just like ours even AB's parents might ask him not to go out of the house ;which was again interrupted by mum's panic phone call since she isn’t in town, and then another and then another by friends and non friends and people who had forgotten my existence for over months; (here I can't resist myself to mention that the ones who really claim to be concerned just forget that I happen to live just 10 minutes away from where these blasts happened) and before we realized, her brother was there to pick her up.

So meeting a friend after really long especially when in that long period of time so many things had happened, inclusive of a series of bomb blasts in our personal lives, this wasn’t how we expected our Saturday evening to be, ( I know, my sense of insensitivity is rather cruel and indifferent )

After walking her to the door, I came back to my room logged on to the internet and saw exactly what I was expecting and had told Shut before she was leaving;
Facebook status messages had changed, very obvious as to how disturbed everyone is because of the blasts.

Life might change for the victims and their families, but for the rest of us, Monday will again be a new start, a few discussions, a few statements of disgust towards this inhuman act, a few changed status messages on FB/orkut/msn/gtalk, a few more blog entries like these by some concerned and some not so concerned people; and that’s it.

I, just feel disappointed, for a wasted weekend and expected curfew at home; for the show tomorrow and for now convincing my friends to bunk college on Monday to come see Wednesday with me or rather go see it alone not being able to spend time with Shruti and do the things we had planned, not getting the expected phone calls and just not being too concerned as to how insensitive I am. :|