Saturday, January 24, 2009

I miss you.

I want to pick up a pen and paper, no not pen; a pencil. So, I want to pick up a pencil and write what I want my life to be some years hence, and achieve it by hook or crook.
And I want to pick up an eraser and erase every moment I shared with people who left with unsaid words. They never deserved so much of me. I am angry and extremely extremely ... void.
Human beings just use each other.
Emotionally. Physically. And when their work is done, they move ahead.
And I forgive them. Because I call them victims of circumstances; But my forgiveness ain't gonna be so easy now on.

Yes, you said it right my dear prospective Chief Minister , " People who have ambitions do not get effected by emotions"
No, I will not give up on compassion. No, I am not begging for stability in life.

I'm very very angry with myself and them.
I'm scared. Of life. Of people.
I'm scarred.
I'm a hopeless dreamer.
I'm void.
I'm not feeling right.
I'm just a little ashamed to be all of this. This is not what I want to feel.

I'm miss you Shivani. Badly. Please come back wherever you are. Please.

Too much usage of 'I' because its MY life. And I am the most important person in my life.


seher's shenanigans said...

yup yup. that is the mantra... 'i am the most important person in my life' yippie!

Netika Lumb said...

At times, we dont really have an option but to accept the fact that a loved one is no more there with us in our thick and thin.. But for those who make things happen, acceptance comes after a lot of effort goes into bringing the change that they wish to see. This isnt a personal attck on you. But if you haven't yet tried to open all possible doors, then go ahead,there is a messiah behind each one. He will guide you.
all the best!

Rakesh said...

I'm tryin to understand what you're trying to say but who is the chief minister???

imperfect said...

@ Rakesh - Prospective. Wait a decade and a half, You'll know. :)

Anonymous said...

You deleted the last entry. It was so much fun reading it. I specially came back to read it again.

imperfect said...

Why don't you gimme your email ID? I shall mail it to you along with some more. And then we can get rid of this hide and seek as well. :)

KP said...

Things happen! Life goes on:).
All the best with ur search....:)