Thursday, January 29, 2009

Of Masks and an Evil Twin.

I don't know about you but I think when we are happy or sad you are everything jealous, spiteful, depressed, eccentric, and so on.

I believe everyone has more than one face, but I can't speak for everyone only myself.

I feel I passed though my 18 years as a wallpaper flower. Seen, but unnoticed at the same time.

At home at college. I see wrong I know right, but as a wallpaper flower you would lack the courage, spirit, and heart to correct it.

I can't look in the mirror
Because when I do I see an enclosed, spiteful, hateful, and envious girl.

Enclosed I hide the truth I bear the lies. You make me laugh you think you know me? Do you know I hate you? Do you know I fear you? Do you know that I would give up everything to be you and yet you whine on the most ridiculous things, you naive fool.

Spiteful spiting any love that comes my way.Everything looks fake
so don't give me your I love you's or you friendly hugs because it makes me tremble it makes me weep. I can no longer accept love. I fear love because I don't understand it, what is this four-letter word?

Hateful hating myself for the lack of courage to fight for what I want, what is right, and what is needed when it is right in front of my face. All the forced back words and swallowed tears I begin to hate it all.

Envious jealous of everyone who seems to have real happiness but like I would be able to recognize that.

When you see me you will know why I am the wallpaper flower. I am not Emo, gothic, or running around mourning for the world. I smile, I laugh, I play, I live. My perfect cover.

Fragile as glass.
All I have is hope and dreams
but I know it is only my refuge in the night in my slumber
I live the way I want to without you.


I fear of being alone and even though I hate you please don't leave me.

7 comments:

Tushar Mangl said...

Great blog.
Every post i read here, attracts me again to visit next time

Toonfactory said...

Thanks for sparing time reading my random thoughts...well it actually started from Parrots and had a description of little OCD I have...but was about the short film I shot over the weekend ;)

Well just read this post of urs...and I think we all have many faces, its just a regular reality check that keeps us remain sane and makes us what we are...think about the better faces and the bad ones will start fading...we can't change everybody but can be the change...so lets be the change

imperfect said...

I read the Hindi ones too. And a few more. :)

And for faces and masks? Well they are definitely by no means justifiable but sometimes it a necessity and sometimes an accessory.
Without my mask I'd probably seem extremely insane. Which I think I am even with it. :D

Toonfactory said...

Ummmm... I second your thought...BTW why 2009 became disastrous for you lady???Hope ur management makes it a real good year, as it sounds like....& yep thanks for sparing time on my other posts & blogs...
if you won't mind can I have ur email add, so that I can communicate directly with you rather posting comments like scraps :)...only if you wont mind...

Toonfactory said...

Yayawar humare alawa aur kaun ho sakta hai... ;)

Netika Lumb said...

Hey I am sorry, I rejected your comment on one of my posts by mistake.. OOPS!
You may not accept this comment :P

(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

Sometimes I feel like we make ourselves more complicated than we really are. No one can really bother us until we let them. No one came make us feel inferior without our consent