kaboom.

very soon I want to delete this, I anyway mostly write here


And yes, noone has ever had access to it. If I compare both these places, I always find that place is literarily more enriching, maybe because its exactly what I feel. Here I write what I think and sometimes snippets of feelings. knowing , certain specific people *will* read it, knowing they *will* judge me.

Also, over the last few months it seems like I'm being to made to believe that after all I'm not that positive a person I project to be.
I'm in fact always looking for some unhappiness in the happiest of the things, some pain in pleasure.
That I love hurting myself.

Don't know how to deal with this one, but this too shall pass.